At times I feel like no one knows me because all I ever get to hear is "You're just a teenager"

Like, you can't have dreams, they will change. Your feelings aren't for real because they are just hormones. I actually do have feelings. I feel isolated, sick, tired, scared and lonely, mostly. I kind of do freak out at times. Scream as loud as I can against my pillow and basicly try to wrip my hair of and cry till I fall asleep. Like that will make things better. That won't cure any disease and it won't give me my own airplane and it sure as hell won't bring me to my dreams. But, it is atleast feelings that I can feel. Feelings I know isn't just hormones. Feelings I know is a sign that the time for me to jump out of the birdsnest is near. I want to find out what there is in this world besides from madness like trafficing, drugs and terrorism. I know, somewhere far east, there is Sakura blossoming.

Le Emilia Wähäsarja.

Sleee-power with my applepie. No blogging for me, just hanging around with me bestie. And she's such a pearl

xx

Tumblr.

Now I am not getting a tattoo but if I would I would get these lyrics at the side of my ribcage:

I am just another human who wants to have a photoshot. This is some inspo from Tumblr. ♥ Can't wait for June and for hotlikehell to open and for I don't know. . . flying? Meet summerfriends back in Croatia, walk around in the best shorts ever. Having a trillion photoshoots. Fall inlove with new icecreams. Eat too much frozen yoghurt. Save money for Singapore. Finish 8th grade. BBQ fiestas! Love . . . ?

Aviators + Lennons = ♥

I am so tired and I just need it to become summer and I need to gain courage. I am always so scared of losing when there is actually nothing to lose but I am the best at losing everything. I screw up but everything somethingn new is coming in the way I am so scared of flying, taking my steps out of the nest. Why can't it be reversed?

I just have to make sure I want it badly enough and I'll squeeze what courage I have inside of me.

Layered blue is a hot trend this S/S. Navyblue with turqouise is my big favorite. I think it is wonderful. It is all heaven meets sea. The two most beautiful things I know colliding and meeting in fashion. My next investment is a navyblue assymetrical chiffon skirt. If anyone knows where I can find it for a decent price you are so very welcome to leave a comment. What do you think about blue meets blue?

// Alla som vet vart jag kan hitta en assymetrisk marinblå chiffongkjol, snälla lämna en kommentar! Det går visserligen bra med långkjol med då jag kan klippa själv.

I write and photograph when there is inspiration and right now there is not. I have no idea what to do but I am really freaking out becuase I have so much to do and so little time. I know you're waiting like freaksofnature for the start of Hotlikehell, me and my friends clothingline and I know you're hoping to se decent posts in this blog but I just have to me the same disappointing bitch I always am and say I am sorry but I am trying to make something out of my real life at this moment and that is trying to save my soul by listening to Mumford&Sons and finding clothes to wear tomorrow and clean my room and do my homeworks and make people around me happy and make someone actually like me for who I am and make people understand how I feel and convince people it is not hormones.

Now dear, fucking, earth, I might have troublesome hormones but I have actually got feelings aswell.

Very good morning. The weather is grey and there is still yesterday's snow on the ground. I am drinking my tasty cup of tea and listening to dream-away music but I just can't wait to come to school and start morning with biology, it is just hallelujah oh so funny, isn't it? And yes Sheldon that was sarcasm. 
I just think y'all should listen to this wonderful song while I am running to the bus, solon'

--

I wish I could write that Amelia Earheart wrote that because that would be just terrific. But myself, I am a little mini-verision of Amelia. Just that it is 2012 now and nobody will give a fuck if I cross the ocean three times with a Piper Cub. 

Inspiration, Inspiration. Well the inspiration is me. Flowers and classical B/W rock'n'roll. 
I don't know why I am doing this when I am really supposed to eat taco and write historyessay. . .

well. Back to work. Even though I hate work. Eating taco ain't work thouh.

I am feeling a lot better today. Got medicine for my coughing and my throat is fine. But I will feel dizzy and tired for another 2-3 weeks because that is just the same old same old. Unfortunately I have to write an essay today and I'm going backt to school tomorrow. I've been too sick for homeworks and now it's all coming like a freaking tsunami on me. Not a wave. Well. Take care, AND DON'T YOU DARE FORGET TO WASH YOU HANDS BECAUSE YOU DO NOT WANT THE FLU.

Headache, Headache, Headache. Goosebumps. Couching. Pain. Unbearable pain! Well yes it is the spring flu! Just another sign that spring is coming, isn't it? Wow. I'm so a great at being the typical scandinavian optimist. No flaws in nothing. Well It's all been up and down today, during my low-fever, no pain hours I've been trying to work and I managed to get a couple of great shorts that will be sold at the coming webshop. But now it is hopeless, I feel like dying. For real bro'. I don't cry when I'm in pain, I just cry when I am angry. Not when I'm sad either. . .BUT. Today I cried because I was in suchthefreaking PAIN! My whole body is on fire, my head is bursting. Morphine somebody? This must be the same feeling of turning into a vampire. It has to be! I was so close in calling the freaking ambulance because my bloodpressure is racing up against a skyscraper and I was in such a pain I started to loose the little bit of consciousness I still have inside of me. Well, I am going to rest now before my broken lungs totally give up on me!

Hope you're not sad about the bad weekend updating but my painfree hours has been all dedicated to work.

Yes yes, ugly little collage with pixles. Exactly the way I like it. I want to have Emmie here so we can work, work, work but naaa, she's at the gothenburg horseshow watching unicorns jumping over rainbows. I want work to take pain off my mind because I am a really sadface little bitch today. Well, as usual I guess. I am just going to enjoy this playlist filled with things I actually like with every inch of my pitch black heart and soul.

The thing is. When I grow up I want to become a happy fellar. Not a moviestar or anything like that. Just one damn happy fellar.  I want to keep stardust in a little can and I want to breathe clearly. So yeah. I really really really want to grow up fast and turn free.

After two days of work I need a brunch with my favorite tea and awesomecake Scones and One tree hill Marathon.

Ready. . . . set. . . . .GO!

Egoshooting  used to be my biggest hobby, I grew way to ugly for that kind of shit though but here is a little something. I could also use a visit to the hairsalon because my color is copper and dead. I want red nailpolish red hair. That's all I want. Or no. Now more I want a shade of pink in my hair with liliac ombre.

I have this one and only dream. To become a young, wild and free soul. Do what I do best and fulfill all these dreams and all the things on my bucketlist! . . . like screaming for my life while driving lonley through death valley and play my favorite song. Probably something from this playlist.

I want to flee the country to the obvious Singapore. Study. Become a pilot. Live.

This young girl has such an amazing voice and she's rad at the piano. She calms my soul down. Can't wait for my ski holiday tomorrow but either I can't wait to come home to my dear lake (and dear god I hope it stays cold so it doesn't melt) and figureskate. I'm planning to spend about 5-7 hours every day on the ice. Not going anywhere until I land my basic jumps, do a perfect one foot spin and my feet are bleading. OK. Not planning to become Sasha Cohen but I am becoming a figureskater and that is le deal.

Snow on the trees, blue colors. Open fires. My annoying but very greatest nephew. Spotify Premium. Happiness. 2 pair of Levis 501 for 1$ each. Happiest birthday with Thaifood at Blue Thai with best friends. Best presents. More happiness. A trip to Sälen tomorrow. Je suis frikin, frikin happy, ouioui! 
How's your week been?